I always feel like the side friend?

well iv known everyone at this school for about a year now. so i started to try to hang with some friends but i always seem to notice that im always the side friend.when walking in hallways they will be in a side straight line talking and im always on the side trying to hear what they are talking about.at lunch im always on the side and noone hardly ever turns to talk to me like ill try to say something and they are just to busy with themselves like how could i find them to be true friends when they dont even care if i was to you know move or hell even die like they act like im some kind of joke and you know even when i try to be serious they laugh and it really pisses me off but then again they are the only people that i could blend in with i mean they say they are my friends but i honestly dont feel like same i just want to show them what the hell iv been thinking come to school with a new attitude i just want to be honest with how i feel like i want to be tuff and standup for myself i can honestly admit that im a little ***** not in the mean way as the people pleaser way like im so done pleasing these “friends” i have i just dont know what to do anymore.you know i used to have actual friends that treated eachother with the same amount of care and seriousnes we would everything together we were like true bestfriends but with the people i know now its just frustrating what do you guys think????

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