I’m 21 and I have huge breasts and I hate them?

I’m a 42ddd weighing 194. I am only 5 foot 1. I hate having large breasts. I’m still a virgin. I have never even had a first kiss. Back when I weighed 140 I had a 34ddd. I look so ugly. How much weight should I lose to be able to wear a bikini top or normal clothes? Will I look uneven at 115? I have struggled with my weight for so long.

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