Well, please just tell me what you think.
Well, life was fine and dandy while I was younger. Til my little brother was born named James,
James was born with anger problems and a touch of dyslexia. Don’t get me wrong, I love him to pieces but…
Since he was born (this sounds cruel) my parents really don’t care for me as much anymore. I know he’s got issues and stuff and I tried to help him, but I became a punching bag for him and my parents would get so stressed. But here’s some examples of what’s been happening:
I won a medal in football, my mother said ‘well done’ while playing candy crush and not even looking at me. James won one in a race, my parents wrote online how proud they were and it’s been two weeks since he won it and their still going on about it.
My mother sometimes forgets to give me food, not joking. And she won’t let me cook either -_-
She’s always saying how I don’t pull my weight around the house, and how when she was my age she could cook and iron. She won’t let me use a mop never mind the iron.
They send me to bed the same time as him. Half eight. I’m 14….. When my older brother was my age they let him stay up til ten. But they send me to bed with him because ‘he’s scared of the dark’.
When I was little I was terrified of the dark, but they would tell me to suck it up, I’m still terrified of the dark.
A year ago:
I kept becoming really light-headed, dizzy and sick and it had been happening for a while so I told my parents. They said, it’s nothing. New years eve I fainted in the shower, I was out for around half an hour. They didn’t care,
The only time they’ve shown they cared was when it happened again in the kitchen, in front of my parents and I was out for a few seconds. They were panicking really badly, I know that they cared then but since then…. No.
James was ill for half a day, they took him straight to the doctors.
It took them 3 years to realize I was being bullied. It took them two days for James.
I was getting really stressed about all my different exams, they didn’t notice or care when I told them.
James got stressed over an assessment, they gave him sweets and comforted him. There’s been a lot more issues but these are the ones I remembered first. I always feel like i’m second best to him, and all my parents do is shout at me. They talk about him all the time and forget about me. When he hits me they say, it’s his problems, you know how he is.
But, just today he began hitting me IN PUBLIC. kicking, punching, biting, pulling my hair, so i snapped and slapped him across the face, not hard because there wasn’t even a mark. I got in trouble and grounded even when a lady who so told them James started it, they said ‘she should know better’ and recently, all i’ve done is cry. I feel like **** ALL THE TIME, I’ve started fake smiling ,which i promised i would never do again, my friends are starting to get a worried, I can’t sleep and i’m not eating as much. What should I do? I’ve tried talking to my parents and they say ‘ don’t be cheeky Carly’ ‘don’t show us up’ I’m sick and tired now. I even had a thought about suicide and only stopped myself because my friends told me if one of us ever died they would commit suicide aswell, which I know one of them almost did a while ago.
I know my life isn’t hard compared to others but, i’m starting to worry myself. A little help? advice?
And with his problems,my family push me aside and praise him all the time and I feel so left out. Selfish huh?
I do love him and my family.
Can someone give me some advice? I’m just a bit ball of stress and worry and I feel like i’m gonna snap. Sorry if this made no sense but I really need some advice.