Why do I feel so fat?

In the beginning of summer I started to try to lose weight I went from 101 to 82 in about 2-3 months but recently I’ve been binging like crazy and it’s usually like 2000-3000 cal a day sometimes and that usually ends up happening like 2 times a week and then I’ll end up restricting the rest of the week. I’ve gained a lot of weight back in currently 95 now :/ I’m considered a healthy weight (I’m 13 5’3) but I still feel very fat and I don’t have I thigh gap anymore and this makes me feel awful, I know I sound ridiculous and I feel really stupid for feeling fat just because I don’t have a thigh gap anymore and I don’t understand why I feel this way? ive been very depressed because of my weight gain and I just need someone to tell me what I need to do to lose the weight I’ve gained please? thank you

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